Knight of the Living Dead

-or, "preboarding"

Just when I thought I was out..

I'll start with the game plan, as laid out to me by Sean.

1. get paired against a white deck
2. play pro-white knights
3. attack and stuff
4. thoughtseize him too? i guess?
5. pizza

 Oh, here's the deck.

can you believe he wasn't starting dark ritual? really!

The original configuration had the fourth Disfigure, an additional Swamp, and 2 more Cabal Therapies. 

There were Dystopias in the board, but I talked Sean into Spinning Darkness instead. If I reveal it to Dark Confidant, so what? I gain three life back! In addition, I was offered a few Dilu Horses.

The shop was sparsely populated again, which was a bummer. Andrew had returned from his back surgery, just in time to let a loud nerd know that his story was not good. The words "shut up, nerd" are some of the sweetest.

Round 1: Arabian Block Constructed w/ JB
JB was playing a "Greatest Hits from 1998" theme deck, complete with Beta Kird Apes and Psionic Blasts. This deck was conceived the prior week at Fellini's, after about half a pitcher and half a pizza, steeped in nostalgia for the days when Ernham Djinn was the best man in town.

In game 1, I led with Ritual into Thoughtseize + Hymn, which left him with land, Birds in play and a Serendib Efreet stuck in his hand. Then I played a 4/5 Tarmogoyf and killed him with it. 

For this and every subsequent game 2, I boarded in the Dilu Horses. 

This was my opener.

pseudo-random

 

 

I might have kept that on the play, but I had images of him playing a Birds (and my subsequent suicide)- instead, I kept five to his seven.  My Thoughtseize got Disrupted.  (JB was polite enough to drop it while I was shuffling, though my brain rudely forgot about that until Thoughtseize was on the stack.)

his keep

Luckily I peeled a Hymn, which made me feel clairvoyant. He played a Kird Ape, which is strong against most of my ground guys, but Knight of Infamy and pump knight have game against that.
Then he cast Earthquake for 1.

Reeling, I cast a Bob which died to Chain Lightning, then a Lilana which died to Psionic Blast. Kird Ape continued its assault, and after it had dealt me ten damage, I drew a Dark Confidant. This was an opportune time for him to draw Time Elemental. I won't lie, Time Elemental didn't scare me at first, but I quickly realized that JB is not the AI from Shandalar, and therefore would not be blocking with the Time Elemental for value.  Bob hooked it up with some extra action, but a Serendib Efreet put the final nail in me before I could mount a counterattack.

I went to five again in the third game, and the first play was me getting his Tropical Island with a Wasteland. (He had played a City of Brass on turn 1, but I declined to hit that.) Knight of Infamy was met with a Brainstorm, and then put him to 16. He fetched next turn, then tapped a City of Brass to play a Serendib Efreet. Attacking wasn't viable, but City of Brass was doing good work on my side. Unfortunately, he played Control Magic on my Knight of Infamy. My notes are clear on this. 

My grip was full of BB cards, and though I drew a second black source eventually, this board put me under.

Those are some nice-lookin' cards, at least.

Round 2: Storm w/ Greg
Greg is my fellow Judge-mat-using-competitor.

I had skillfully drawn the Ritual-Thoughtseize-Hymn combo again, which left him with Brainstorm and Dark Ritual in his hand. I followed that with a Tarmogoyf, and he Brainstormed at the end of my turn. Over the next three turns, I drew Disfigures while he Brainstormed once and played lands. Then, at 5, he cast a third Brainstorm, two Rituals, two LEDs, an Infernal Tutor, blah blah blah, I died.

In came the Dilu Horses, out went the Disfigures.
My single Cabal Therapy made its first appearance in my opener, and he had declined to draw Brainstorms in his opening hand. He had a Therapy of his own, however, which hit the two Tarmogoyfs in my hand, leaving me no action. I did peel a Lilana after he cast a Bob, but he had revealed an Infernal Tutor already. A Ritual and an LED later that turn convinced me I was dead, but he was playing around graveyard hate and only got another Bob. I drew a Confidant of my own, and cast it with Wasteland up. In his upkeep, he revealed an Abrupt Decay, so I cleverly Wasted his Tropical Island to keep him off BG. 

Did you know that Abrupt Decay is an instant?

Anyway, every day is a lesson. He cast Ritual, Petal, Petal, Tendrils when I was at 8. Bob did a lot of work that game.

Round 3: Terrence
Terrence "Top-8" Demby was playing a Modern deck. Cabal Therapy was very good for me this match, as he was playing a suboptimal mix of 4 Cultivate and 0 Kodama's Reach.


Interlude: Cubing
Lukas is a store employee who is my former roommate. He and I share many likes: gambling, drafting, and Carver's Country Kitchen. What better way to enjoy ourselves than doing a Winston draft, best of 5, loser pays for lunch next week? 

he was like, "wait til i cast coalition honor guard!"

I neglected to mention that in Round 1, Game 1, he arrived at the shop with my winnings from last week. Waffle fries, man.
My match with Terrence was as brief as the write-up, so we attemped to get a little drafting in before the fourth round. My memory is spotty regarding the draft, but it was full of white and green aggressive two-drops, Pacifism-effects, and a Moss Kami. So, when he played a fourth-turn Stinging Barrier, I figured my work would be cut out for me. On the right is a scene from game 1. I conceded right after this picture. He would have killed me with Stinging Barrier and the off-color ability of Stormscape Apprentice.

Round 4: Beau
This round started as I was trying to rebuild my deck to not get utterly demolished by Stinging Barrier, no small feat in the pauper cube. Why didn't I put in Flame Slash..

Anyway, Beau is playing a R/G all-basics deck. 
In game 1, he drew the burn side of his deck, excepting a Quirion Dryad which got Disfigured in response to the second counter. I led with a Bob into Knight of Infamy after Thoughtseizing an Isochron Scepter. I played a nonstop sequence of black 2-drops, and that he cast a Fireblast by tapping six lands sums up the game pretty well.

The Dilu Horses came in for the last time.

In game 2, I Thoughtseized him and took a Tarmogoyf, leaving him two Quirion Dryads and two Lightning Bolts. A few turns later, he drew and cast an Isochron Scepter and put one of those Bolts on it. I had declined to bring in Krosan Grips. For a few turns, I was live to draw a Tarmogoyf and kill him with it, but eventually he put a Magma Jet on another Scepter after I had run out all of my smaller guys. Somehow, it felt worse than in the old days, when losing to Fire/Ice on a Scepter was normal. 

I spent a long time sideboarding for this game. There were Null Rods and Krosan Grips I wanted to bring in, as well as Spinning Darkness, and the Disfigures seemed bad, but only if he doesn't draw Dryad.. The Jittes,
3-drop Knight, the Therapy, and a pair of two-drop Knights came out.

My six for the last game had a Krosan Grip, a kill spell, and a guy, which was acceptable. I put on some early pressure, while he sat back on what I assume was a mass of burn spells. Eventually he traded Bolts 1-for-1 with my guys when I dug into his hand with Thoughtseize and a Hymn, and we got to a state where I had no guys save a Dark Confidant, and he had a 1/1 Dryad and a bunch of lands. He topdecked a burn spell to kill my Bob, but I peeled another next turn. His attack next turn would have put me to 4, though, so I blocked expecting to get blown out, but he had drawn another land. My Lilana got burnt to death with a Fireblast, then I drew lands and Rituals until he killed me with a Tarmogoyf.
♣

Looking back, I'd have waited to play this until more Stoneblade decks were in the room- or at least, tried to get the flying pump knight from Coldsnap into the conversation. Really, all the games I won were from the Ritual Duress Hymn combo plus Tarmogoyf. I remember now why Tarmo-rack decks were popular in Standard!

My notes from the cube match are sparse, but he destroyed me with Pristine Talisman. Plus, this isn't a pauper cube blog! What did you expect?


Next week, the return of real decks!

Until then, try to control your volume- especially if your story is bad.
∎

Naughty Delver

-or, getting extra tricky

This week, I made it as far borrowing and actually sleeving up all the cards for the real deck, but when I found out that Pants wasn't playing, I figured I owed it to the crowd to be entertaining for one more week. After all, GP Denver is fast approaching!

sideboard is the red cards, perish, extirpate, divert explosives clique

This deck is innovative for its simultaneous use of Force of Will and Dark Confidant, a rare combination which finds its way into few decks not featuring Death's Shadow. Having said that, it's not quite as uncommon as it is for Sean to hand me a deck with blue cards and Force of Will. (This one was actually for our buddy J.B., and nobody likes taking 5 from Bob as much as he does.)  After dealing with the disappointment of his absence, I had resolved to dig deep and make some 12/12's.

Round 1: Dredge w/ Robert
Robert is a nice guy who is around the shop now and then. He appeared to be relatively new to dredging, or at least with the particular nuances of playing with Lion's Eye Diamond.
In the first game, he led with a City of Brass into Careful Study, discarding a Flame-Kin Zealot and an Ichorid.  Though I had Pierce and blue source in my hand, that he didn't discard a dredger convinced me to Wasteland him in hopes that his hand didn't have action. Then he played Coliseum, LED, LED.  And a Breakthrough. He cast it for 0, and then we waited about 5 seconds-
"Resolves"
"Crack my-"
"can't"
":( ok"
He hit a Thug in his four cards, as well as a Faithless Looting, which he flashed back. A Narcomoeba was waiting on top, but no more dredgers, though the fifth card down was a Stinkweed Imp. After drawing a Confidant, I played a fetchland and shipped back. Ichorid got up, he beat for 4, and Therapied me twice, netting him two Zombie tokens and stripping the Spell Pierce out of my hand. I peeled Electrickery, which, while exciting, was not enough to handle many Zombies. Interestingly, that the Izzet spell couldn't target my Confidant was relevant and annoying, as it would have put me in a position to interact much more meaningfully with the Bridge.

I boarded in the Explosives and Extirpates for the Jace, Spell Snare, and Ghastly Demises.

My hand for game 2 was p. spicy: Explosives, Snapcaster, Spell Pierce, Brainstorm, lands. He curved into turn 2 Narcomoeba (cast), Stinkweed Imp (cast), Narcomoeba. I was able to get him to 4 via a combination of 3/2 fliers and City of Brass, and even though I had two Extirpates, I targeted the wrong things and died slowly to an Ichorid.

Round 2: RUG w/ Darrin
Darrin's a pretty consistent competitor at the shop, usually with Forces and Dazes in his arsenal.

We started slowly, me with a turn 2 Delver, him with a Ponder and a Nimble Mongoose. My notes aren't clear, but I recall drawing Electrickery while he had threshold, cursing silently, and dying with many Stifles in hand.

Pyroblast, Cliques, and Explosives came in for the Delvers and Jace, since I had already grown tired of playing with "good" cards.

I fetched into a Ponder, he cast a Delver, I played a Bob, he revealed Lightning Bolt. Next turn, I cast a Vendilion Clique in his attack step, which was Red Blasted.  (Unfortunately, he answered my question "in response to the trigger?" correctly.)  Insectile Abomination died to Ghastly Demise off the top, then we played draw-go for a few turns. When he was at 16, I ran out a Dreadnaught very casually, which resolved. Obviously I had Trickbind. He dumped his hand of Tarmogoyf, Mongoose, Delver, but we didn't pay an extra card for a 12/12 that could get chump blocked.

We started the last game with less than 15 on the clock, so my notes get fewer. My opening of double fetch led to a fight over his Stifle on turn 2- we both lost a Force, but a Spell Pierce kept me from being on the back foot early in the game. His hand was light on threats, and they were all targetable- very convenient for my removal-heavy draw. As the clock was winding down to 5 minutes, I stuck a Dark Confidant at a double-digit life total, and it kept me full up on Demises and Snapcasters to keep Darrin from sticking a man for too long. Time expired, and on the first of extra turns I emptied my hand casting and protecting a Dreadnaught, but he had a grip full of counters for my Stifle. I didn't have a sufficient army to kill him in two turns, but he was totally crushed on board- he saw that and generously conceded.

Round 3: 12post w/ Paul
Paul, like Sean, has been around since before sleeves were invented. He used to be the #1 Vintage player in the state, back when I was in high school. He was playing a sweet Cloudpost deck.

In game 1, I stick a Delver, and flip it on turn 3. My hand is light on permission and disruption, so he gets to Scry into six mana on his fourth turn. He makes a Duplicant to eat my Insect, but fortunately it doesn't put an equivalent amount of pressure on me.. though it doesn't really matter, as he cast Primeval Titan into my hand full of Spell Pierces and Dazes. An Eye of Ugin gets activated, he reveals Emrakul, I Stifle the extra turn trigger, then die anyway.

I board in the Extirpates for a mix of Pierces and Dazes, hoping to get him with the Wasteland + Extirpate combo.

On the play, I keep a hand with two Delvers and an Extirpate, but no Wastelands. My first Delver flips blind, and via a Brainstorm in my upkeep, I flip the second and cast a third. A Daze on his Sylvan Scrying puts the nail in him.

I spent a good while staring at the Extirpates between games, trying to tell myself that it wasn't good, but I don't know who I was trying to fool.

To my surprise, the combo and two Wastelands are in my opener for game 3, so I keep. Hard up for mana, my early 12/12 puts him on the back foot. After I attack him to 7, he peels a Forest to cast Crop Rotation. I let it resolve, holding back the Force in my hand for the big spell he's building towards, but he just gets Glacial Chasm. I don't attack for one turn, he falls to 5, then I peel the third Wasteland to kill his Chasm and him.

Round 4: Maverick w/ Andrew
Andrew, my frequent passenger, asked if we could draw. Due to reasons, it wasn't a great idea, so we decided to wait for more information about the matches around us. We spent that playing game 1.
He plays a Noble Hierarch, I match him with a Delver. He plays a Thalia and sends my 1/1 farming.  I Ponder on my turn, trying to find my third land, but miss. He casts a Qasali Pridemage, attacks for 4 with Thalia, and plays a Scryb Ranger after I blank on my turn. His Gaddock Teeg gets Forced on his fourth turn, and the attack after that puts me to 8. A Stifle is waiting on top, and I cast a Dreadnaught, but Thalia requires me to pay an extra mana which I can't produce. Thalia eventually deals lethal to me.

Fortunately, someone has dream-crushed for us a few tables over, and Andrew is still cool with IDing.

Top 8: Reanimator w/ Greg
Greg is also playing on a Judge mat, causing the effective value of our match to skyrocket.

In game 1, I had a turn 2 12/12 with Force backup, but he won the roll and Griselbranded me on turn 2 with Force backup. Then he reanimated an Emrakul with Shallow Grave. Rude. Too bad you can't Stifle lifelink any more.

Red Blast, Clique, and Extirpate got boarded in for the Ghastly Demises and other kill spells.

I led with a Dark Confidant, which revealed a Force of Will. He cast a Careful Study on his second turn, discarding irrelevant things. Dark Confidant kept the disruption flowing into my hand, and he didn't get his engine going before Bob and a Vendilion Clique killed him to death.

For the final game, I cast a Delver on 1 which flipped on my second turn. He was light on mana sources for this game, and Wastelands from my side kept him from doing much of anything. (Also, I was sandbagging two Extirpates.) While his life total dwindled, he durdled with Brainstorms and Hapless Researchers, but he couldn't outrace the 3/2 flyer.

The top 4 split the $100 store credit, and we went to get pizza.
♣

This was the first legacy Delver deck I'd ever played, and man, is it sweet to have a 3/2 on turn 2. It didn't really feel like a Dreadnaught deck, but the few times the plan came together made killing my opponent very easy. Electrickery was nice, but I might rather have just had a Spark Spray for all the good the overload ability did.


In SSD news, I'm moving over to more "real" decks, in order to prepare for the GP in January. If there's interest, I'll try to post some write-ups as I figure out how to play Legacy again. Don't worry, though; Pants has offered to take up the slack and play some "very nice decks" when he can.

Until next time, try to get things done on time.∎

Guest Week: Berserk

-or, spreading disease for fun and profit

I suppose an explanation is in order: this week, Casey decided to play a "real deck."  In his stead, I decided to borrow one of Sean's decks and contribute an article.  You can call me Pants, and you should know that there is a vast, unknowable void in my heart that holds only hate for my opponents.  More on that later.

For this stout seventeen-man tournament, I borrowed Sean's Berserk deck.  For those of you who are too poor to afford foreign cards,  I must tell you, a fully-foreign deck is a sight to behold.  It contained the stock list of infect men and pump spells, with a few spicy pieces such as 3x Revenge of the Hunted (Korean), 2 Snap (German), and 2 Misdirection (T-Chinese).  The sideboard had an assortment of cards, featuring 4 Submerge (T-Chinese), 2 Reverent Silence (T-Chinese), four cards I always boarded in over 2 Snap/2 Misdirection, and two German cards for which I neglected to ask for an oracle text.

Round 1:Hell on Earth is Real and I Play Against it Round One

When I sat down, I recognized my opponent.  Many moons ago, when our local legacy scene was in its infancy, he played regularly;  he was back, he said, with a spicy brew.  I was immediately confident in my ability to mercilessly pound him, my first perceived victory on the road to twenty-five dollars store credit.
I kept a hand of Blighted Agent x2, Glistener Elf, Inkmoth Nexus x2, Misty Rainforest, Forest.  With basically any spell gas, I anticipated a quick victory.  He led with a turn one Swamp, go.  Strong!  I ripped another Glistener Elf, fetched out a valuable Tropical Island, and cast an elf.  My opponent was unfamiliar with both the card and the poison mechanic, and remarked that it was hard to play when my cards were foreign.  Just to be safe, he decided to cast Funeral Charm during my end step.

Let's take a look at Funeral Charm.  Funeral Charm has three modes.  For those of you who aren't familiar with numbers, three is a strictly better number than two.  Strictly!  Those modes are: target player discards a card; or target creature gets +2/-1 until end of turn; or target creature gains swampwalk until end of turn.  God, those are fine modes.  You can't find modes like that just anywhere!
This was slightly worrisome; there's a certain combination deck/player that is unbeatable; the man who hasn't played in nine years will inevitably show up with old-school Merfolk and play against your Merfolk deck round one. His deck, however, has three main-deck Seasingers and four sideboard Merfolk Assassins.

Uneasy, I watched as he untapped, drew for turn, laid a white-bordered swamp, and cast a Dark Confidant.  I untapped and went to draw my card, but my opponent informed me that he was not yet done. 
 Perplexed, anger building, I watched as he pondered his hand, then shipped, telling me he was just screwing with me.  I drew a Gitaxian Probe (T-Chinese), and cast it.  The probe revealed Snuff Out, Gatekeeper of Malakir, Spinning Darkness, Nyaxathid, and Swamp.  He remarked that he had thought about using Snuff Out on my elf, but instead opted to use Funeral Charm.  Cool!  Sweet!  Rad!
The rest of the game went predictably; I played a man, he used single-target removal.  Nyaxathid, suitably large, decided to turn sideways, directly into my face.  My board plan was more dudes, less crap, and a miser's Pact of Negation (Japanese).

I decided to play, and saw a hand that contained one man and six lands.  I mull'd into a six that consisted of Probe, Elf, Berserk, Invigorate, Brainstorm, Hierarch.  I kept, probed, and drew Blighted Agent.  My next draws were Revenge of the Hunted, Blighted Agent, and Pact of Negation.  My opponent made bold moves, casting Inquisition of Kozilek, followed by Hymn to Tourach, then next turn another Inquisition of Kozilek.  It was at that point I decided to end my pain in style, with no lands in play and a three-card hand, by casting Pact of Negation.

A bystander remarked that it was a good return to Magic for my opponent; I thanked him for his observation.

Round Two: Bringing a Knife to a Global Thermonuclear War

My round two opponent was a shop regular who was just in the legacy event to have fun.  I believe that his deck was Junk Standard Budget Tokens™.  In game one I played an unblockable man followed by spells that increased his power.  Game two was not substantially different.

Round Three: Lilith, Bride of Samael

My round three opponent happened to be the girlfriend of my round one opponent.  I had watched her finish one of her earlier matches, so I knew she was playing affinity, which I felt as though I should win against, barring a nut draw from my opponent.  I started the match in relatively high spirits despite losing the die roll.

Turn one Vault of Whispers, Mox Opal, Springleaf Drum, Memnite, Frogmite, tap Memnite w/drum to cast Thoughtcast.  A strong start!  My hand was not so strong, leading off with a Glistener Elf, then a pass of priority until the beginning of my end step.  Her second turn, she cast a second Thoughtcast, put a third artifact land into play, and cast Master of Etherium.  I still had a chance to win, however, as I had an Inkmoth Nexus in my hand, as well as an Invigorate.  I would merely need to draw a Berserk, live until turn three, then swing in and pump.  I was able to play lands, but unfortunately I could not find a Berserk, and in the subsequent turns my opponent cast a third Thoughtcast as well as a second Master of Etherium.
In between the first and second game, I asked a judge what the oracle text on Reverent Silence was, heard him say enchantment, and ignored everything else.  I boarded out 2x Misdirection 2x Snap, looked at two German cards from Mirage, and decided that since I didn't recognize them they were bad, and ultimately not worth sideboarding.

In game two, my opponent discovered how my deck worked, as I swung for one poison, then twelve.
I kept a solid seven in game three consisting of elf, agent, hierarch, invigorate, daze, 2x land.  My opponent led with Darksteel Citadel, Memnite, pass.  I opted to play the elf first so that I could swing for two the following turn, before she could play any meaty artifact men to block my sad little elf.  On her turn, she did not lay a land, and cast Springleaf Drum.  I dazed her drum, and she asked if she was allowed to tap it and Memnite to pay for Daze.   I informed her that her proposed sequence of actions was not possible, and she binned the drum, then shipped the turn.  I drew a probe and cast it, targeting her.  Her hand was 2x Master, Cranial Plating, Thoughtcast, Drum.  I felt vaguely worried, but I knew that she would have to have an impressive series of draws to remain in the game.  I cast Hierarch and swung for 2.

Fortunately for my opponent, she drew a Seat of the Synod, laid it down, cast Springleaf Drum, then tapped it and Memnite to cast Thoughtcast.  After that, she laid down a Frogmite.  The next couple turns are a blur, but I do remember losing and my opponent's board containing two Masters, two Myr Enforcers, Frogmite, and Memnite.

My opponent thanked me for the games, and told me that it was fun.  I responded with an affirmation that winning was indeed fun.  The same bystander that congratulated my opponent round one congratulated my round three opponent, remarking that it was a good showing for her first tournament, and enforcing that she should be proud of herself, as it was her first tournament.

Intermission: Dern Ferrin' Cards

I was sitting and chatting with Sean about how much I hated my life, the lack of justice, his two Misdirections in the mainboard, and racial inequality in the southern United States, and he asked how many times I drew Seeds of Innocence (German) in my affinity match.  I apologized for my ignorance and asked what Seeds of Innocence did.  Let's take a look, shall we?

Seeds of Innocence, Sorcery, 1GG - Destroy all artifacts. They can't be regenerated. The controller of each of those artifacts gains life equal to its converted mana cost.

Seems strong!  I sure wish I had asked for an oracle text on that German card in my sideboard!  Now, you may be calling me an idiot, and in fairness I am, but I have to explain my reasoning.  Sean has jammed the worst pieces of crap in my sideboards in the most obscure foreign languages multiple times, and every time I ask for an oracle text, I die a little inside.  I now know what Jihad does, and I have forgotten my grandfather's face in order to store that card knowledge.

Round Four: John Person is a Fine Southern Gentleman

I had erroneously assumed that since there was a third round, I could squeak in at 2-2, so I decided to put my game face on, forget that I had punted away a match to someone who just started playing Magic, and spread some disease!

My opponent for the fourth and final round was John Person, a very polite man who shows up to Magic events and never seems to talk to any of the people in our Magic sphere.  I sat down, asked him how the matchup was, and asked him how he felt about Lance Armstrong, as he was wearing a Livestrong bracelet. 
 He did not know what I was playing, but offered to tell me if I told him, to which I declined, then told me his opinion on the drug scandal with Lance Armstrong, which I found to be fair, given my knowledge of the situation (none).

It turned out John was playing Maverick, a matchup I was not familiar with, partially because I had never played my own deck before.  The first game was basically a single moment where I incorrectly cast Invigorate then Berserk on my elf before gaining a bonus from exalted; he had a chance to flash in Scryb Sprite, block with it and Mother of Runes, and go to nine poison.  Unfortunately for him, I had drawn a Vines of the Vastwood that turn, cast it, then wrote in my journal that I sacked into the win.

Game two I yet again boarded out 2x Misdirection 2x Snap in favor of 4x Ichorclaw Myr.  This proved to be an enormous advantage, as John had boarded out one of his three(?) Quasali Pridemages.  The sequence of plays for this game was a back-and-forth of Ichorclaw Myrs and Quasali Pridemages.  During John's final turn he tapped out for a Green Sun's Zenith where x=3 and put a Knight of the Reliquary into play.  During his end step I submerged his Knight and showed him my pump spells; he responded by showing me four lands and the Pridemage he had boarded out.

It turned out the entire fourth round was superfluous, and I was locked out of top 8.  I told Casey I'd have an article for him soon (lies) and that it would be a real page-turner, so to speak (more lies).  We discussed his performance with Doomsday, which I understand was abysmal, both in terms of results and the deck itself, much like every combo deck.

Overall, I think I'd like to play Berserk Infect again at some point.  It's a pretty simple deck, although mildly frustrating.  I don't think it requires anything tricky like Misdirection in the main; just men, pump, and the occasional countermagic.  As I said before, those slots were better off being men in basically every matchup, but I could see them having some use in the sideboard.  Daze performed particularly well, and I think I'd go down to two Revenge of the Hunted.  The deck can do very well against people who don't know what's going on and even against people who do, but I think it loses to any deck that can recur removal... or draw multiple Funeral Charms off of Dark Confidant.

Get pumped for next week, when Casey pilots Four Horsemen to multiple slow-play warnings and a request from the store owner to never come back!

Tezzeret + Post

-or, uncle skillz's cavalcade of fun

Really- I really was going to play a normal deck this week. That, and JT still has my LEDs from last weekend, and I was too busy cubing to get a deck together. Plus, all the sweet cards- and this one features Uncle Skillz.

 sideboard's on top- yes, that is a guardian beast

Did you know that Trading Post has, like, a million abilities? It's like having to cast Primal Command every turn! It is really hard to do that correctly! I'm sure I'm the last person to find out about that, but in case you were curious, it's a tough one.

Having said that, this is a Totally Sweet™ deck (I mean, it has the Post), and it might be one of the 'best' that Sean's handed me. 

Turnout was pretty sparse tonight, which wasn't really surprising- the week before a Prerelease is slow, even for Eternal formats. I spent most of the afternoon playing around with the cube before I realized that my last round of additions never actually made it into the cube, which was "a little frustrating".

And my round 1 opponent had Pernicious Deed in his deck!

Round 1: G/B Explorer w/ Josh

Josh was playing the Veteran Explorer big-mana style deck, with Deeds and Titans and other stuff. Mostly Deeds and Titans is what I remember, though.

Game 1 was pretty straightforward- he started on Treetop Village, I Wastelanded it, he only had one other land, I played Chalice on 1, made it a 5/5 with Tezzeret, and still had all these Wastelands.

Fortunately, Sean pointed out this deck's particular vulnerability to Pernicious Deed prior to our match, so I had the foresight to take out 3 Chalice and the Cursed Totem for the Phyrexian Revokers. Also, Sean was sitting next to me, and definitely cast a Thoughtweft Trio.  

wizened cenn died to counterbalance, kraftwerk trio in his hand

Game 2 was about as interesting, but less easy for me. Josh Therapied me (for Brainstorm, hah), then GSZed an Explorer on turn 3 and and hit the Tezzeret still in my hand. Luckily, I had only drawn one of the two basics.. he used his extra lands to cast a Liliana. My board of land, land, Baleful Strix got better when I cast a Revoker (on Deed), and I could even check his turn 4 Grave Titan with an Ensnaring Bridge. We went a few turns, he played some spells that were good, then Maelstrom Pulsed my Bridge. While I didn't exactly die on the spot, the plan of "chump with Creeping Tar Pit" is not known for the longevity it provides.

This time, I brought in the Guardian Beasts for a Trinisphere and a Chalice- Chalice seemed "not very good" in this matchup, though I'd really want it in the third game.

I led on Tar Pit into Strix, while he played a Pithing Needle on Tezzeret and Thoughtseized an Ensnaring Bridge. On my turn 4, I tanked for about a minute.. then tapped out to bash him with Strix and my Creeping Tar Pit. He tutored for a Thrun with Green Sun's Zenith, then I played Tar Pit #2 and hit him again. He cast a Top and a Kitchen Finks, putting him to 10. I hit him back for 7, then cast Guardian Beast. On his turn, he looked with Top, cracked a Wooded Foothills, looked again, cast Zenith for 0, looked again.. and had found a Needle for my Tar Pits. I sighed, played my millionth land, and put him to 1 via my Baleful Strix. He untapped, drew his Top, looked, and then said "noncreature artifacts, right?" as I was already putting my Baleful Strix into the bin. I couldn't attack with my Guardian Beast into his Thrun and Finks, and on his next turn he played a Primeval Titan which found 2 Treetop Villages. I had a chance to draw Ensnaring Bridge, but Trading Post couldn't prevent me from taking 16 damage next turn.

I realize now that Guardian Beast is probably better anti-Deed tech than the Revoker. That guy makes things indestructible, which is definitely not what I thought it did*.

Round 2: U/R Delver-burn

He laid into me with Volcanic Island into Goblin Guide on his 1. Strong.. but I played land, Mox Diamond into Chalice for 1, followed by Tangle Wire. A Tezzeret happened, and while Goblin Guide was really pulling its weight, the collection of 1-drops in his hand couldn't really get involved in the game.

I put him on Delvers, so I brought in a Ratchet Bomb for the Cursed Totem. 

show and tell resolves.. nice blue permanent! also, pay for daze w/ spirit guide

Also, our neighbors' match had already gotten into game 2. The Show and Tell guy was .. surprised? Shocked? His Brainstorm in response to Pyroblast didn't find anything helpful. I

Sure enough, he opened on Delver in game 2. I played City of Traitors, then Mox Diamond discarding Wasteland. My hand contained a Chalice and a Crucible- I led with the Crucible, since he had started on Volcanic Island. Obviously he Dazed it, but luckily missed on his first blind flip. He pinged me and cast another Delver. Without playing another mana source, I cast a Chalice on 1, which got Spell Pierced. On his turn, he showed me a Banefire, which, while confusing, did cause me to take 6 (down to 12). He cast a Grim Lavamancer. Unbelievably, my Trading Post next turn resolved, so I figured I was a lock to win this one. On his turn, I went to 6, and he passed without making a play. The Post put me to 10, then I untapped and played Ensnaring Bridge! 

"Surely any idiot could win this game now," I thought, as I fiddled with my lands. My opponent shot me with the Lavamancer, untapped and passed. I went up to 12, played an irrelevant nonbasic, then said go.

reddit.co: TIL Man vs. Nature isn't a fair fight 

msn.com: Area man takes million damage, all at once, regrets tapping Wasteland for mana

(He actually got me for exact, thanks to the Banefire.)

Having gained some more respect for his deck, I cut the Smokestack for another Ratchet Bomb.

 

Game 3 was a serious grind. My six was pretty good, and he snap-kept 7.

My turn 1 Chalice off Ancient Tomb got Forced, and my turn 2 Trinisphere got Spell Pierced. He played a  Delver on his 2, then countered my Tangle Wire. His first attack put me to 13 (missed his flip), and I luckily had enough lands in play to cast spells without getting shocked.  He blanked again, and the Delver put me to 12.

Then, having a bunch of blanks in my hand, the game turned around when I miracled into Trading Post, followed by Ensnaring Bridge. We passed back a few times after that, while I tried to buffer my life total as quickly as possible. At 12 and with 10 minutes on the clock, I cast a Chalice on 2 and a Trinisphere, thinking that I'd lock him out via Crucible/Wasteland. He politely played a third basic, using it for an expensive Ponder. I made a Goat with Post while he was tapped out. On my turn, I cast an Intuition into Tezzeret, using the +1 to draw a Ratchet Bomb.

His next play was a Sulfuric Vortex.

 

Efff.

 

So, I was at 13 to his 17. He cleverly redirected the damage to Tezzeret, which was unfortunate- now I was locked out of using the ultimate. Scrambling to figure something out, I drew another Intuition and an irrelevant artifact with Tezzeret. The gears were turning in my head.. maybe I can sac my Ensnaring Bridge to Post, get in with a giant Strix? I was hamstrung again- my Tomb was a blank, the clock was ticking down..

Trying to close out, I cast a Ratchet Bomb and passed. My opponent cast a Lightning Bolt at me, which finished off my last Tezzeret, and I responded with an Intuition for Baleful Strix. After that resolved, a spectator pointed out the Chalice I had played earlier. What a dagger. I tossed my Bomb into the bin and tanked in the end step. An extra Tomb got discarded for value in order to keep my Bridge relevant.

It wasn't enough, though- I had no way to answer the Vortex, the Price of Progress, and the clock all at once. 

After the match, Sean pointed out my error- when he had tapped out for Ponder, I could have returned my Tangle Wire and used the Post 2-step to keep him locked out! (I didn't get it at first either.) The plan is: in response to Ponder, make the Goat, then untap and sacrifice it to return the Tangle Wire, cast it. He taps out. I make a Goat and pass, he taps out again, then I start the soft loop again. It doesn't get around the clock, but my Tezzeret doesn't die that way, and surely any idiot could have won the game from there.

As it was, I died, but played out the last round for value.

Round 3: U/R Show and Science

Andrew kindly joined me in the dead bracket.
I felt bad 2-0ing him, but, well, Chalice for 1 is quite good.

In game 1, I played stuff which got countered, then stuck a Chalice on 1. A Crucible resolved, and Tezzeret showed up next turn to enhance it. He cast a Burning Wish on his turn, getting a Show and Tell. The Crucible put him down to 7, and I passed with Trinisphere in hand. Sure enough, he showed me an Emrakul, but I raised him an Ensnaring Bridge. I cast a Mox Diamond next turn and drained him out with Tezzeret.

While looking at my sideboard, I got the feeling that I had pre-boarded.

On the draw, I played Ancient Tomb, Chalice on 1, which resolved! * His turn involved him tanking, looking depressed, and playing Volcanic into Burning Wish for a Show and Tell. I hit the Volcanic Island with a Wasteland and passed back, but didn't have enough action to capitalize on my disruptive start. A few turns later, he cast the Show and Tell for Griselbrand and activated it instantly, which put him to 9. He discarded a bunch of 1-drops.

I cast a Cursed Totem on my next turn (timely), which got Forced.. so I attacked with the Baleful Strix I had cast a few turns ago, to the surprise of the people around me. I mean, he went to 7! I figured I might get him. Well, he actually attacked, and -then- drew another 7, casting a Show and Tell. It resolved, and fortunately I had drawn an additional Strix to square off against his Emrakul. I declined to attack this time, and played a Post which got countered. His attack left me with no lands, Chalice on 1, Crucible to his Petal, Petal, Volcanic, Island. (Looking back over my notes, we forgot to have him gain 7 from Griselbrand. Sorry!)  He burnt his last Wish on an Eye of Nowhere for my Crucible, which was brutal.

So, it was my Chalice against his two lands- well, one; I peeled another Wasteland to put him on basic Island.  I drew an Ancient Tomb, and eventually some more lands. A Trading Post got countered, as did my Crucible, and so did a Tangle Wire (with a hardcast Force). However, the Tezzeret I played last (with my Tomb putting me to 1!) resolved, and the (-4) was enough to get him- he was at 4.
♣

The rundown is brief:  This deck has a big game.  Sean said he went undefeated for 6 rounds at the SCG Open before getting a game loss for drawing extra cards, then drawing a match and getting knocked out.

We talked about this one for a while, Sean and I, and we agreed that Academy Ruins was terrible- the Post gives you enough recursive effects that it was more annoying to have an extra colorless land.  Buried Ruin and Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth both got us excited, and we may try that out next time.

Let me know if you liked the pictures of random game states! And I promise I'll try to win a relevant match next time, though it was way closer this time

Until next time, remember what all your cards do. ∎

Value Enchantress

-or, riffle shuffling five thousand dollars

After the cool response last week, I figured I could give Sean another shot at putting a horse into the money. And did he ever have a nice one..

not typing out decklists any more

Basically, the plan is to locate a Serra's Sanctum and activate a Candelabra or two, which generates infinite beaucoup mana.

Andrew and I showed up early and did a Winston draft with the pauper cube, and then we got burritos with Sean and Yido. I think we talked about racial slurs- their etymologies, literal meanings, etc- for the duration. Maybe there was a discussion on sweet tea.

Since the SCG Invitational is this weekend, there were some ringer-types at the shop "testing", which I (correctly) assumed meant that I'd be explaining what most of my cards did for most of the rounds. Though, thinking back on it, that isn't- well, that always happens with these decks.

[Aside: Sean is nigh-on-fanatical about never using English cards that aren't Beta. Some of the shop's regulars feel strongly about this particular quirk, especially when they let Feld der Unterdrückung resolve with two fetchlands in play. Personally, I kind of like it. Given the option between Brainstorm or Gedankenwirbel..]

Round 1: RUG Delver w/ Lauren
My opponent was an amicable out-of-towner that I didn't know personally. We chatted for a bit about the invitational, the local shop, nice stuff- but it got a bit awkward about here.
"So, how'd you qualify for the Invitational? Points-"
"I won the last one."
"Oh. Um."
I kept Exploration, 2 land, Argothian Enchantress, 2 Presence, Heartbeat on the draw. Topdecking a land on turn 2 wasn't enough, as he stuck a Tarmogoyf on his 3 or 4 and countered the next five spells I cast. I died with three lands and an Exploration in play.

Since some of the singletons seemed to be a bit slow and clunky, I brought in Blood Moon, Ground Seal, and City of Solitude for Moat, Oblivion Ring, and the Copy Artifact.

It didn't really matter, though- I kept another two-lander and got Wastelanded twice. I drew out of it, but by then Lauren had generated five power's worth of humans and insects with nary an Elephant Grass or removal spell in my deck. Even though I drew the combo (Candelabra + Serra's Sanctum), it's not at it's best on an an otherwise empty board.

Meanwhile, my neighbor at table 8 had his opponent show up five minutes late and concede- and then immediately ask Sean for a deck. And I had to play this match? Against this guy?*

Round 2: Merfolk
My opponent in the loser bracket had actually signed up late, having just gotten in from Pensacola. (I forgot your name, buddy. Sorry. Well, you'll probably never read this. Yeah.)
I lost the roll, snake eyes to boxcars. Inauspicious. His start off a double mulligan was foil Unhinged Island, pass, ask what Exploration did. When he cast a Vial the next turn, I wasn't surprised, nor was I when any of my Enchantress effects didn't resolve. Soon I was at 12, facing 11 power worth of fish, with had an opportunity to set up a Heartbeat into Moat next turn to stay alive. Unfortunately, my opponent knew what that card did and used the extra mana to level up his Coralhelm Commander and kill me.

Looking back, I suppose the Coralhelm Commander was going to kill me either way. That guy flies! How embarassing. 
I brought in the extra City of Solitude and the Replenish for the Energy Field and the Wheel of Sun and Moon.

 In the second game, my opponent's draw was significantly faster, Vial into Adept into Master with Wasteland backup. I did stick a City of Solitude (after I ran a Presence into a Force), but the City does not offer much protection from things which attack. My note sheet says I took 3, then 9, and I'm pretty sure there was roughly 16 damage on the board when I conceded.


When discussing the next iteration, I brought up the topic of Elephant Grass or Solitary Confinement as a way to die slower. Sean's counterargument was concise:
"Casey, the deck is called Value Enchantress. Not Internet Enchantress, not Good Enchantress. The purpose of this deck is not to win, it is to commit as many dollars worth of cards to the table as is possible.
Also, I fucking hate Elephant Grass, as it is a card for pussies."


Round 3: Devin
Devin's a local player, and a generally cool guy. He was playing his standard deck.
In game 1, I drew Emrakul relatively early and also cast it relatively early.
Game 2 was a bit more difficult- I saw him bring about ten cards in. I got double Duressed, my Heartbeat got Ringed (after I had tapped out for it, too), but he couldn't put enough pressure on before I amassed a critical amount of value enchantments. Eventually a Words of War dealt him 20.

Round 3.5: JT and the DQ
JT and I cut out to get Blizzards after this match. I ended up paying.
See, JT and I like to gamble with each other. Before this particular trip, we had done all kinds of things to decide who pays- flip a coin, odd or even, etc.- but the previous time we had been feeling clever, and decided to use the cashier's birth month to help us decide. JT had asked, "were you born in the first half of the year or the second half?". JT's (obvious) (vocal) disappointment at "the first half" led us to explain the bet, and the cashier's response was to think for a moment then say, "Oh, hm.. actually it's in July.."
So we decided to be cleverer this time, and to just ask for the information, and we'd decide for ourselves. 
"Before I pay you, what's your first name?"  (I had "starts with a N-Z")
"What?"
"What's your name?"
"Joe!"
<my barely contained irritation, JT's celebratory dance>
<JT explains the bet>
"Oh, okay, it's actually Samir"
ಠ.ಠ 


Round 4: Maverick w/ Andrew
Andrew is the guy I drove with, and is a rad guy. He's been playing Maverick since I can remember him. Luckily, creature decks tend to be relatively straightforward for Enchantress decks.
My notes aren't clear from this match, to be honest- though I do remember untapping with 5 Candelabras, discarding thirty cards, and generally putting many permanents into play.

I had to talk him into playing the second game at all, but it was way more interesting- until I naturally drew the singleton Wheel of Sun and Moon and its soulmate, Energy Field. He eventually was able to tutor for a Qasali Pridemage, but by then it had been a million turns, I had a few candlesticks, and I was able to tap Serra's Sanctum for 6, 10, and "a lot". Words of War shot a Thalia, then his face. ♣


Looking back, I would make some changes to the starting 60, and probably cutting the red out for Words of Wind and Elephant Grasses. Unfortunately, that would reduce the overall value contained in the deck, so that's out. After all, the plan is to have a decklist that just can't be copied by Timmy Q. Internetguy- says Sean.

Next week, I have a Doomsday thing planned out.
Until then, just flip a coin. It's easier. ∎

Sept. 12th, 2012

(subtitle: U/W Vial hate-bears)

I'm still short a few cards for the U/W Miracle Counterbalance deck, and though I had planned to borrow them from the guy I drove with, I was led astray this week. I hadn't cast a Meddling Mage in some time, and, well, when you just get handed a deck..

Anyway, I'll try to summarize the list- I know there were normal U/W lands, with Wastelands and 2 Karakas. Mother of Runes, Meddling Mage, Swords, Brainstorm, Vial were 4-ofs.. Man-o-War, Jotun Grunt, Mangara of Corondor, and I think Stoneforge Mystic were 2-ofs, and there was 1 Jitte, 1 Sword of Fire and Ice, Geist of Saint Traft, were singles. There was a mystery number of Aven Mindcensors, and that rounds out what I recall.
4 Phyrexian Revoker, 3 Submerge, 3 Surgical Extraction, 1 Jotun Grunt, 2 Burrenton Forge-Tender was the sideboard if I remember correctly.

In the first round, I played against Anthony with a sweet Death's Shadow deck. I saw him laying it out before the tournament started, and I didn't really "get it"- but he totally steamrolled me in both our games.
In the first, I had a relatively slow start that got ripped up by Thoughtseize and Duress. He Gitaxian Probed me a few times before playing a 1/1 Death's Shadow on turn 3. I had a Mom and a Meddling Mage on Force of Will (it was nice to have seen his decklist before round 1) with a basically empty hand. When I tried to race him by using my Mom to sneak in 2 damage, he showed me his grip of Dismember + Snapcaster on Dismember to wrath me and also make his Shadow a 9/9. When I cast Man-o-War, he laughed out loud then Forced it. At least I had hit with my Meddling Mage..

I didn't really have anything to bring in, but I was totally over Man-o-War already, so a few Revokers tagged in.

In game 2, I kept my seven with two lands, Vial, various creatures. He Forced my Vial, pitching Jace, then killed every creature I played. I wasn't really in this game, though I do remember cleverly realizing that he would never play two Shadows at the same time, which would let me 2-for-1 him by Swords-ing one of them. Someone paying less attention might have lost this game, but as it was, I didn't have enough removal to keep up with his back-to-back monstrous Shadows.

In the second round, I played against Chris with the U/R Show and Science deck. I kept a Karakas+Wasteland opener on the play and didn't draw a blue source for my Meddling Mage before he cast Show and Tell into Omniscience into Griselbrand (which got Karakas'd!) into Emrakul. On turn 3. The Man-o-War I showed into play was.. minimally effective.

In game 2, I kept a sweet one with Vial, Mangara, Karakas, Thalia, and other lands. When my Vial resolved on 1, I was sure I couldn't lose this one. Then, inexplicably, I cast Thalia on 2 (which obviously got Dazed). Chris Pondered a bunch on his turns. On my turn 3, I declined to run my Mangara into the myriad counterspells I had since put him on, and just passed. Then on his turn 4, with my Vial at 3 and Mangara in my hand, Chris Showed an Omniscience into play and cast an Emrakul. Maybe I should have talked Sean into some Stern Proctors for the board.

After that one, I dropped and played some games with my pauper cube.

Looking back, I probably was a little loose with the opening hands I kept. They tended to be durdly, and I imagine decks like this need to be aggressive and disruptive to be effective at all.

Next week, I plan on playing the UW Miracles deck, so look forward to that.
Until next time, remember to avoid temptation.
Casey

First

Hello.
Among other things, this blog is intended to display and/or discuss some "rogue" (read: bad) decks and their performance in my weekly local Legacy tournament. Depending on what happens week-to-week, I may play a good deck or a "Sean-style brew". Maybe I'll give tournament reports, maybe I'll talk about how delicious my burrito was this week- but I promise to be as entertaining as possible, and to update once a week.
Thanks for tuning in.